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WASTED TIME
The time that I’ve wasted
is my biggest regret
Spent in these places
I will never forget.
Just sitting and thinking
about the things that I’ve done,
The crying, the laughing,
the hurt and the fun.
Now it’s just me and my
hard-driven guilt
Behind a wall of emptiness
I allowed to be built.
I’m trapped in my body, just
wanting to run
Back to my youth with its
laughter and fun.
But the chase is over and
there’s no place to hide
Everything is gone, including my
pride.
With reality suddenly right in
my face
I’m scared, alone and stuck in
this place.
Now memories of the past
flash through my head
And the pain is obvious
by the tears that I shed.
I ask myself why and where I
went wrong
I guess I was weak
when I should have been
strong.
Living for drugs and
the wings I had grown
My feelings were lost,
afraid to be shown.
As I look at my past it’s so
easy to see
The fear that I had, afraid to
be me.
I’d pretend to be rugged,
so fast and so cool
When actually lost
like a blind old fool.
I’m getting too old for this
tiresome game
Of acting real hard with no
sense of shame.
It’s time that I change and
get on with my life
Fulfilling my dreams
of a family and wife.
What my future will hold I
really don’t know
But the years that I’ve wasted
are starting to show.
I just live for the day
when I’ll get a new start
And the dreams I still hold
deep in my heart.
I hope I can make it;
I at least have to try
Because I’m heading toward death
and I don’t want to die.
©
Jason Akes
Used with permission
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